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Aug. 31st, 2011


like a prayer/

well. timetable sem is pretty slack in comparison to my hectic last sem = i Feel very slack and have this habit of aimlessly hanging around school in between and after class now. 
plus the fact that only two of my mods are actual content mods with readings adds on to my slack gefühl. 
science gem is slack with only one lecture a week and of course no readings and german and french gibt keine readings too natürlich. 
so oh well. i guess its not such a bad sem just that french Is driving me a little crazy. 
it is Alot harder than german. (at least for now) or maybe its just the way the french department teaches. german was taught so much more systematically and clearly. sigh. 
still. we'll see, we'll see. 

so had french tutorial this morning which was fun as usual- the tutor's pretty hyper and entertaining i'll give her that much. 
headed over to the deck after for lunch and met F on the way who started talking away as usual (in spite of complaining of a sore throat) and who got so carried away he walked all the way to the deck with me and then realised oh shit he was supposed to be walking to class. epic. 
lunched in the deck with jess after and then we just sat and stoned and of course talked about our favourite topic for quite abit- organisational woes. yes, as usual. and see, i Aint the only one. so there really IS echt ein Problem. but yea lets not go there for now. 
headed over to science after that and i hung in her lab for a while before going for gek lec. 
which was a fiasco- we thought he was only going through one set of lec notes (since thats the norm isnt it) and when he finished that in an hour, we were all oooh okay, class ends early! but no, he goes on to say that after the break, he's starting another set of notes which None of us had printed out and none of us wanted to go print it. and yes, bravo, we walked out of class, headed back to the deck and sat playing monopoly deal till K and min had to go for their respective classes. and just when they left, L appeared and i ended up hanging in the deck somemore talking to him and reminiscencing Münster. and after that, popped up to the library to say hi to fridzy and give her a dino. 
yes, aimless hanging in school and strangely enough i felt as though i Really had nothing else to do anyway. 
gosh, inertia inertia. needs to stop. 

french homework is done, maybe i'll go do some readings or something. 

ps, i am loving wdr3 radio. 

pps: yes, obviously i mean so little that you did actually go and forgot what i've told you Twice. but honestly i cant be bothered anymore. still, care/dont care aside, i will never do to you what you always do to me because at least i'm decent and polite enough that way. it just makes me so much more of a person than you are, doesnt it? sorry to say, but you honestly have diminished so much in my opinion, i look at everything you do and see it as one big facade. and guess what the best thing is? i'm over it, i'm over you
so be it :) 

Jun. 28th, 2011

back girl

bu gao xing

 dear 2011, you have no idea how much you suck. 
especially you, summer of 2011. 

how much worse can a year get? 
and this was supposed to be the high point, the 21st. 
i should have known- the 20th year was bad enough, why did i even think the 21st would be better? 

it's. so. much. worse. 
Especially since there is no European holiday, and SEP has been DEFINITELY called off. 
all i ever wanted up in flames. 
there is nothing i have left to live for anymore. 

and when it rains it pours. 
hate this chaos. 


Jan. 19th, 2011



i'm moving on, and i'll forget. 

all along, all i was chasing, was something that was never worth it. 
something all too impossible. 

wir sind verschieden. zu verschieden. 

es tut mir nicht leid. 
nicht mehr. 

ich werde besser finden. 

ich hoffe dass du auch jemand findest. 

wir werden aber immer Freunden sein. 
mach's gut :) 

Dec. 29th, 2010

once upon a time

ich weiss nicht wie weit das gehen kann

 ich vermisse dich einfach. 
i have no idea if i've ever even crossed your mind. 
yea, One email in the entire month- that really makes me feel alot better about things. 
thanks, i guess. 

well. you come home tomorrow. god knows When exactly, i'm not going to bother to ask. 
if you can be bothered to let me know when you finally do arrive, then maybe we'll see. 
i cant believe i still have yet to speak to you about next sem and tell you the news. 

ich soll vielleicht aufgeben. 

warum ist es immer immer immer so schwerig? 

Oct. 23rd, 2010

ice cream

(no subject)

and UGH WATEVER WHY should i fucking care 
and who i am to feel this way anyway 
WHY the grudge and WHY the annoyance 

yea, because i'm selfish. 
because i cant stand seeing others Also doing the same. 
because i Hate competition 

i am So fucking annoyed and disturbed right now 
everything's going wrong 
i hate this sem i hate this sem i hate this sem and i cannot wait for it to END ASAP. 




Of all times for that stupid machine called a laptop to die on me.
It Has to die in fucking week 10 when everything's piling up and essays are due right round the corner.

HOW NOW i ask you.

Havent been wanting t stay at home cos then all i do is mope and mourn its death and attempt t beg one of the family members to get off theirs for just a couple of moments get no work done anyway ugh this is so upsetting i am going t probably really handwrite the damn i dont know how many thousand words before i can find a chance t type. Fml fml fml i hate this sem.

So yea so pissed off and didnt want t stay home so headed t hv for lunch w chia and fridz today before going to central lib (yes omg i went to School! As if i dont spend enough hours there on weekdays already) t meet k to essay. Or rather. He essayed while laptopless me attemptes t comprehend marx and rousseau and Plan my essay. stayed all the way till bloody 7pm yes way to go i know.

Ugh no mood t do Any work watsoever now at all. Daddy just popped in t ask if i needed t use his but i feel really bad if i keep hogging it and i dont want t run any risk of crashing his nice new machine for him too now that i've alread murdered my own scheisse. Ah f it all.

Thank goodness for my itouch man annoying as it is t type on it :(
Spare lappie anyone? :(

Yea anyway i should get back t drowning my sorrows in more marx and rousseau and save you from any more of this bitch fit i'm throwing (yea sorry abt it but i am just really f-ing upset right now)

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


Oct. 18th, 2010

once upon a time

faultlines and consequences

rah its been an annoying few days. partly because mom's gotten into one of her 'moods' and this one's lasting alot longer than usual. 
watever man. 
dont wanna go there. 
at least this time all she's been doing is keeping up the silent treatment and cold shoulder. 
definitely beats the tantrums and temper displays? 

and You. you are Not helping. 
you're back now, but somehow i doubt you're here to stay for long. 
but yea, whatever, i'm kind of over it anyway. 

it was hilarious though- 
cos aly and i went over to the lib first and i met k to print. 
then we joined al at the ref area to sit down and mug.. 
fridz came to join in awhile after and her expression when she saw k was Classic haha 
she was pointing to him (his back was to her) and looking at aly with this completely disgruntled and disgusted and Incredulous expression. 
her face said it all man. "WHY is HE here?!" was the clear message she was sending haha. 

aaah. life's little moments. 
love my friends. 
they brighten up my scheisse life. 

Oct. 13th, 2010


das geht leider nicht

i ran into faith nach meinem tutorium heute abend. 
und sie hat mir alles erzählt.
über dich, und was passiert ist. 
ich bin wirklich enttäuscht. 
ich weiß nicht warum du das getan hast. 
ich kenne dich nicht mehr. 
du bist fast ein ganz anderer person. 

ja, ich habe schon gesagt dass es vorbei ist. 
aber, ich kann dich einfach nicht verstehen. 

was Ist mit dir denn? 

trotzdem, auf jeden fall, ich kann nichts sagen. 
weil du nicht mein bist. 

Oct. 9th, 2010


moving on/ moving on/ imma move on/ without you/ and not look back

yep, i think its High Time i Did move on. 
its been dragging out since freaking year 1 sem 1, and its always been the same situation over and over again. 
this sem was slightly different. i really thought you'd changed and we Did finally stand a chance. 
but oh well. 
manche menschen ändern sich nie. 
and i guess you're on of them. 
but no matter. i'll get over it, and move on. something i should have done a Long long time ago. 
sorry, but you're no longer going to matter. you're no longer going to be a priority. i'm no longer going to build my happiness on yours, or let my life revolve around you. 
So over it. :) 

this weekend's been pretty fun. 
lunch at pan pac this afternoon with the rents and pastor rupert and family. 

and just got home from dinner at uncle orson's and auntie ivy's place! 
oh man, its they have a cool penthouse with the most gorgeous rooftop garden ever and that was where we had our dinner! 
atas food (fab beef burgers and what-not. even their seasoning's all atas: they have the pepper grinder thinggy and they "only use sea salt" haha. and after food we had fab tea and freshly brewed coffee (yea from coffee beans omg)) and a lovely ambience and a really nice time of just Chilling. 
its been awhile since i've ever just Chilled like that with churchies. so it was a good evening spent. really really very chillax and just nice out in the open air with nice company and no stress. 
of course though it meant i Didnt get Any work done this week. 

crap Eweek really didnt do me any good cos i just slacked and rushed my essay and didnt do any webcasts. 
Must check when he;s closing forum CRAP. 
so yes. so much for eweek and catching up and OMG now ivle aint working for me >.< 
i am such a terrible student and such a fab procrastinator. 

and tomorrow's going to be church and then meiyi's wedding so again not much time left for me to do Anything >.< haha crappppppy. 

okay okay i SHOULD go finally do my forum posting AAHHH. 
thank goodness its italy and fascism which has been touched on in two mods i've previously did so i've still got notes 

Sep. 28th, 2010



 so disappointed in you. 

i have nothing more to say. 

und vielleicht, es ist zu spät. 
es tut mir leid. 

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